No Apologies for Living

Half a letter to myself.

Dear Self,

As you venture on to your new adventure, I would like to remind you of a few things. First, Jesus. Second, gratitude. Third, to remember there are seasons. Was it not just yesterday that we wrote in our journals the qualities we desired in a man? A man who would cook you pancakes, give you piggy back rides, and make you laugh. And as we grow, we know it was never these things at all that we needed. We found Him or rather, He found us. Two thousand plus years ago, Jesus came for us. G-d did not send gold or silver. G-d sent His SON! What an indescribable Agape love. I can’t even fathom. It was never gold, silver, or more “stuff” that we needed. Isn’t His love more beautiful than all the idols you’ve ever had in your life? He knows your intimate needs, your favorite songs, your weaknesses, and how He saves you everyday. The roof over your head, the food on the table, are nothing compared to His sacrifice. He died for your sins so that you could have eternity with Him. So that even if this world sucks, we KNOW that the ending does not suck. Yes, everyday we must remember to live with the end in mind. His thoughts are above your thoughts, His ways are above our ways. He is working, He is coming again! What a mystery, what a gift. Was His Spirit there the nights you’ve cried realizing you were heartbroken, abandoned, and alone? Was it not Him who gave you those feelings in the first place so that your heart would not be hardened? He is good. Always with you, always for you, and always working for your good because you love Him and He is love, and Jesus only gives good gifts to His children.

Perhaps the darkest days were the years of counseling, fighting orphan thoughts. But He shall not leave you an orphan. You are His child. The gratitude you have towards your friends who drove you, talked to you, listened to you, gave you random gifts and laughter. Even while the devil tried to destroy your life, a locust eating the grass, the grass grew again. Jesus wins again. If you never ask, the answer is always a no. Ask Him. He wins battles for you.

There are seasons. There are seasons to embrace and there are seasons to part. Your friends are in different seasons. Some are having children, some are avoiding children, some need their space, some need a friend, some need another degree, some need to travel, some are getting married, dating, or learning more about who they are, some need to be quiet, and some need to talk a lot… they are in different seasons. They will not always understand you. Jesus will. They will not always express their love for you. Jesus will. Love people where they are at, and turn to Jesus. It is human to learn to be more understanding towards others and yourself. To be gentle to others and yourself. To learn to be quiet in spite of panic brought on by uncertainty. Self, I will end with this. No matter your seasons, no matter so and so’s seasons, no matter your husband-to-be’s seasons: Do not be afraid. For Jesus does not give as the world gives. Again, I say, do not be afraid. Let the roots spread though an axes threaten to steal its glory. Do not be afraid.

He who created your roots is greater.

Society is wrong. Dead wrong. We’re taught that exotic is beautiful. We’re taught to believe that miniature waists, and perfect tans are beautiful. We’re convinced that the blonde girls with the gorgeous smiles will win every time. But, the truth is? Originality is beautiful. Big brown eyes, green eyes, blue eyes. Curves. Your natural skin tone is beautiful. Your hair color, your smile. Your voice, your laugh, your personality. Every inch of you is beautiful, every single part of you shines with your essence. You, my dear? You’re lovely.

loveonesself:

reblog. :) 

Marriage

People ask me if I’m excited about getting married… I don’t know if excited is really the word for it. Perhaps a better fitting word for me is “curious.” I’m curious to see how Jesus will show up in marriage. I want to gain a deeper understanding, the how’s and why’s and what G-d was thinking when He created marriage in the first place. There are shows mocking marriage, the media loves to announce engagements and divorces all the time. Marriage is obviously a popular subject. I don’t know much, but I will say this… After my share of singleness, dating, and having “heartbreaks,” when I get married I will remind myself that a fiance/boyfriend/husband is a great gift from Jesus, but he is still human. The black hole in my soul can only be filled by One and that’s the One that created my soul in the first place. Jesus is the source of real joy. At the end of the day, I only need to know these truths: I’m not G-d. G-d made me. G-d forgives me because of Jesus. And G-d loves me more than any man could ever love me.